Posts Tagged ‘amusing’

Wow. So, what’s it been? Two and a half, nearly three years? Fairly certain my last blog post was in or around the summer of 2012. Any unfortunate soul that stumbled across, decided that they need some masochistic glorification in their life, and actually read my blog, must’ve thought that had I died; went into a witness protection programme; or just lost faith in my abilities and chose a new walk of life. Well, the latter I can confirm is true. The second point, I’m not allowed to comment more upon. And the first? I’m still working on the whole resurrection thing, but so far, no good.

So what’s happened with me, and what’s going to be happening with my blog? I’ll attempt to mount and divulge those two parts in, I suppose, two parts.

Last I was scribbling my inane ramblings, I was an English literature student in Bristol on line for scraping a pass in my degree, with an ambition for writing for a living in the employment realm of journalism. That genuinely was the plan. It didn’t turn out that way. I actually graduated with a 2:1 (for my American chums: one below the top grade). I’m still mounting enquiries into how that happened. I then started a career in writing and journalism, and sincerely got some stuff published. I worked at one or two institutions (the highlight being Front magazine: an alternative men’s lifestyle magazine in London with perks of meeting my favourite bands and gorgeous women), but it didn’t last long.

There are a couple of reasons for me ceasing my premature ambitions. The main one was, regrettably and predictably, security and money. I met practitioners in the role that I aspired to, earning nowhere near enough to sustain an existence in London and forced to working second and third jobs. There is a higher earning potential, but it involves relinquishing the love of writing, and entering more of the bureaucracy: something that I’m not interested in. Unless you’re highly gifted and get noticed, and I’m not of the view that I had that, that’s the way to survive by what I experienced.

So I needed something safer (so rock ‘n’ roll and boheme – I’m sorry Mr Kerouac! 😦 expect a lot of this post- rebellious lamentation of my succumbing to the ‘man’. It’s been a tough adjustment and I’m wholeheartedly not there yet and quietly still vehemently against it), and something that would still intellectually challenge and stimulate me and that I took enjoyment in.

Boom! Here I am, and somehow nearly a qualified lawyer. I know, right? Ridiculous. And slightly disingenuous to everything I’ve historically preached. But there we go. I had to do a three year law degree in nine months, law school, and somehow secure a two-year training contract (again, for those non-acquainted with the legal profession, an apprentice-esq position, which yields itself to around 1 in every 150 graduates) to qualify. I’m currently on the latter, in my second 6 month ‘seat’ working in Commercial Property and Corporate law, with a commute getting me in the office at 8am and leaving at 7pm. I’m not here to brag or bore anyone, I just wanted you to know how hard I’m working.

The second point is more lifestyle focussed.

I moved home (not cool) as that’s where the job is. I also lost a crazy amount of weight (36″ waist to 28″), did CrossFit, got a six-pack, and stopped CF and put half back on again. It wasn’t sustainable, or enjoyable. And now I’m working to get to a happy medium. I would think I’ll be posting about the odd health issue now and then, but be sured it’ll be anthropologically focussed rather than the generic boring waffle we’re used to across social media.

I also got engaged: mega- boom! Not even that: holy shit! As if someone agreed to put up with me for the rest of our lives? Pity the fuel, that she’ll need to progress. I hope someone gets that.

So here we are. I’ve gone from a porky, disorganised, self-sabotaging renegade (I’m not sure if that’s self-deprecating or insufferably arrogant), to a creatively tattooed, work conscious lawyer (ditto again). I suppose the point of my this post is as follows:

1. I’ve been meaning to get back on here and on track for a while. I currently do legal blog writing, but it’s not quite the same and I don’t intend to do it on here. However, I do think it helps giving me another string to my bow of ponderings.

2. I didn’t think I could just post again after such a long absence without an explanation, despite the glaring fact that I doubt many actually reading this.

3. It’s inevitable that the nature of my posts will change; my contention is that this would happen naturally (and here we are back to essentialism vs social constructivism: I told you my philosophical/English degree related posts weren’t through with – I’m still cool. HONEST!)  in a three year absence, but considering my alteration in life direction, this is even more likely. I anticipate less poems (if they ever qualified as much), and more ponderings. Sure, legal stuff may intrude: it’s my job, and has been my mind-set for nearly three years. However, this is not my ambition with this blog. I want it to continue to and nurture the facet of me that it manifested from. I intend that to continue. It’ll just be, different. And let’s face it: it couldn’t get much worse.

So here I am. If any of my old discipl…ahem, followers, are still out there and read this – comment and say hi! Let’s see what happens with this. I won’t be the prolific poster I was before, thanks to the obsessive job, but I intend to use this space to exorcise my creative demons which, despite being utilised in some areas of my work, perhaps are being ignored. To our mutual benefit I suspect.

So, as the title articulates: my apologies. But, I’m back.


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worth persevering with this one, wrote it at around 3am in about 15 mins so not sure how much sense it’ll make, but it’s not as mushy as it first appears!

Regarding My Angel:

As I Gaze At You, My angel:

I think in such sweet memory of your face,

It must be the sweetest face around.

As you lie next to me, covered in lace,

I would not wake you, not make a sound.

My Angel, As I Gaze At You. 


Just As You Sleep, My Angel:

You could not look more like perfection,

You sleep  better than anyone I know.

I know now why, it is in you that I’ve made my selection,

With those cheeks, just as white as snow.

My Angel, Just As You Sleep.


The Laughs That We Have, My Angel:

The times we joke and jest,

Remember at school, you pretended not to know me!

I got the joke, really, I guessed,

So clever, ironic, it really was funny.

My Angel, The Laughs That We Have.


All That I Would Do For You, My Angel:

My life is yours for the taking,

I would move the moon and the sun for your delight.

Give the leaves I see beneath me a good raking,

Your garden is really lovely at this time of night.

My Angel, All I Would Do For You.


All I Would Suffer For You, My Angel:

I’d suffer these pine needles all night.

And the porch light that blinds me so.

When the cat’s let out I get such a fright,

And got a splinter in my big toe.

My Angel, All I Would Suffer For You.


And Now You Come Heavenly To Your Window, My Angel:

Where for art thou? I balance here Juliet,

So quietly, and skill fully too.

Those curtains sometimes closed, like a game of roulette,

While I pray for open, so better to see you.

My Angel, You Come Heavenly To Your Window.


No, Do Not Be Afraid, My Angel:

There really is nothing to fear,

I have great balance and sit in this tree most of the time.

If I put the binoculars down I’ll have two hands my dear,

And then across the branch I could climb.

My Angel, Do Not Be Afraid.


No, No, Not Your Father, My Angel:

This isn’t quite the scene in which I’d pictured us meeting,

No need to say anything, I’m just messing.

Besides I don’t think this will merit the warmest greeting,

And I haven’t quite asked for his blessing.

My Angel, No, Not Your Father.


Dear Mr and Mrs Johnson, Our Deepest Apologies:

We are writing to offer our deepest apologies for Robert, and really,

We understand your reaction, it was your garden’s border.

We want you to know he will be punished severely,

And we appreciate your decision to move and the restraining order.

Our Deepest Apologies, Mr and Mrs Johnson.

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